Gift-Gate Redux: Starmer Once Declared ‘The rules are very clear’

Gift-Gate Strikes Again: Tory, Labour, New Boss Same as The Last!

In a plot twist that would make the writer of Rules of the Game reach for his typewriter, our esteemed Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer, has not only been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar he’s been caught out in his hypocrisy too.

Let us recap on this fashion faux pas, shall we, as our would-be Emperor struts around Italy in his new clothes? Lord Alli, a Labour peer and Starmer’s most generous personal donor, has been playing the role of a capitalist fairy godmother to the Starmer household. Not content with gifting Sir Keir £18,685 worth of so-called work clothes and spectacles, he’s now extended his bourgeois generosity to Lady Starmer, providing her with a personal shopper and a wardrobe that would make even the most ardent champagne socialist jealous.

The irony is as thick as the walls of a gated community. While Starmer strips the winter fuel allowance from millions of pensioners, forcing them to choose between heating and eating, he and his wife are being dressed as if they were entitled gentry, ‘the first couple’ in a dystopian Hunger Games scene. It’s a sartorial slap in the face to every struggling family in Britain, a mockery of the very principles the party claims to uphold.

Now, let’s be clear: no one expects the Starmers to parade around in sackcloth and ashes. But here’s the rub – Sir Keir, with an estimated net worth of £7.7 million and a basic salary of £160,000 plus expenses, surely doesn’t need handouts to clothe himself and his family. Yet, in a display of tone-deafness that would make even the most out-of-touch aristocrat wince, he’s accepted gifts totalling more than £65,000 in just nine months from Lord Alli alone. One wonders if the moths in his wallet are better dressed than the average British worker.

But the true measure of Starmer’s detachment from the party’s roots lies in his seemingly insatiable appetite for freebies. Our Prime Minister has taken more gifts than all Labour leaders since 1997 combined – a feat that would be impressive if it weren’t so grotesque. His sense of entitlement stands taller than Nelson’s Column, while his sense of service and honour appears to have shrunk to the size of a tailor’s thimble. It’s as if he’s determined to outdo the Tories not in policy, but in shameless self-indulgence.

However, the threads of this scandal run far deeper than a few designer garments. Lord Alli, it turns out, is no mere benefactor. He is a millionaire media entrepreneur who has bankrolled Sir Keir and his party to the tune of almost £1 million. The revelations paint a picture of a man who has operated in the shadows of politics for decades, only now thrust into the limelight by his sartorial generosity.

Since 2004, Lord Alli has donated an eye-watering £947,032 to the Labour Party and its candidates. This includes £620,378 to Labour HQ, £100,000 to the Prime Minister himself, £54,000 to Emily Thornberry (his north London MP friend), and £50,000 to Angela Rayner, the Deputy Prime Minister. The list of beneficiaries stretches from one end of the party to the other, from Jess Phillips MP to Andy Burnham, the mayor of Greater Manchester.

And let’s not overlook the £20,000 spent on Starmer’s accommodation during the general election campaign. Because nothing says “solidarity with the proletariat” quite like resting one’s head in quarters that cost more than the average worker’s annual wage.

The irony is as thick as an OAP’s winter coat. While Starmer strips the winter fuel allowance from millions of pensioners, forcing them to choose between heating and eating, he and his inner circle are being dressed and funded by a millionaire peer. It’s a sartorial slap in the face to every struggling family in Britain, a mockery of the very principles the party claims to uphold.

But the hypocrisy doesn’t end there. An old clip of Keir Starmer criticising then-PM Boris Johnson over his “cash for curtains” scandal has resurfaced, exposing the Labour leader’s double standards. In 2021, Starmer stood in the House of Commons, righteous indignation dripping from every word, as he demanded transparency and accountability from Johnson. Now, faced with his own donor-related improprieties, Starmer’s silence is deafening.

During one PMQs, Starmer asked Johnson: “It’s been widely reported that Lord Brownlow, who just happens to have been given a peerage by the Conservative Party, was asked to donate £58,000 to help repay for the cost of this refurbishment.

Déjà Vu?

I'm old enough to remember when Keir Starmer grilled the then PM Boris Johnson over a rich Lord buying him stuff in what became known as the 'cash for curtains' scandal. pic.twitter.com/BpJucH9YX9

— Saul Staniforth (@SaulStaniforth) September 15, 2024

“Can the prime minister, if he’s so keen to answer, confirm did Lord Brownlow make this payment for that purpose?”

Johnson claimed he had answered that question before – sparking uproar on the opposition benches – and said he had covered the costs, met certain requirements asked of him, before trying to talk about Tony Blair’s impact on the taxpayer.

Starmer called for Johnson to answer the question, adding: “The prime minister will be aware that he’s required to declare any benefits that relate to his political activities, including loans or credit arrangements, within 28 days.

“He will also know any donation will be recorded in the minister’s interest, and under law, any donation of over £500 for a political party must be registered and declared.

“The rules are very clear.”

He pointed out that the electoral commission thought there was reasonable grounds to think an offence may have occurred.

He added: “That’s incredibly serious. Can the prime minister tell the House, does he believe that any rules or laws have been broken in relation to the refurbishment of the prime minister’s flat?”

Johnson replied robustly: “No, I don’t!”

Starmer also called Johnson “Major Sleaze” during the angry 2021 exchange, and said the government was “mired in sleaze, cronyism and scandal”.

Johnson was later cleared in the probe and it was decided Johnson knew “nothing about” how the refurbishment came about.

However, then-independent adviser on ministerial standards Christopher Geidt said the PM had “unwisely” failed to determine where the money was coming from.

Johnson later reimbursed Brownlow for the money he paid towards the refurbishment through embarrassment or pressure…

“The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

― George Orwell, Animal Farm

In reality, this scandal transcends the realm of mere clothes and gifts; it’s a damning indictment of a Labour Party that has lost its moral compass. We’re witnessing the erosion of trust, the betrayal of principles, and the birth of a monstrous hybrid – a Labour Party in name, but a Tory in practice. While energy companies gorge themselves on obscene profits, Starmer’s Labour refuses to bring them to heel. Instead, they peddle the lie of an economic black hole that must be filled by squeezing the poor, the young, and the elderly. The poverty gap yawns ever wider, threatening to split our society into two different worlds, yet Labour seems content to play accountant rather than champion of the people.

This is the commodification of politics in its most grotesque form. The once-proud Workers’ Party has morphed into a funhouse mirror image of its Tory counterparts, where loyalty is bought and sold like shares on the stock market. The spirit of Keir Hardie weeps as his namesake dances to the tune of millionaire donors.

For a Labour leader who pledges to restore standards in public life with “a total crackdown on cronyism,” Starmer is stumbling spectacularly at the first hurdle. It’s a case of “meet the new boss, same as the old boss” – but with a red rosette pinned to a bespoke suit.

As we watch this tawdry spectacle unfold, one can’t help but wonder: is this the Labour Party of Clement Attlee and Aneurin Bevan, architects of the NHS and the welfare state? Or is it a neoliberal wolf, draped in the tattered remnants of socialist sheep’s clothing? The answer, I fear, is as clear as the emperor’s new clothes – and just as revealing of the naked truth beneath.